I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
