I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
