I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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