so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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