Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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