Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
