Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
