No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
