This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
