taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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