he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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