so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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