I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
