I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
