Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
