spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i was in the wii world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
operation have a gay friend backfired
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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