Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
