I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize