I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
