I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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