She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
