if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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