I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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