Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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