R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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