he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
