we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
