I just cut my nipple shaving
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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