Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
