dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
