i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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