just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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