Having a random hookup so left but love u
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
