just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
