i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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