it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
