Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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