it was like having sex with a tree stump
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
