I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
