She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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