I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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