No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
