The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
