so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
