Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I guess Iâm only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to âMarilyn Monroeâ and âJoe DiMaggioâ in their condo
I didnât say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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