That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
