that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We need to get me chipped asap
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