Buhtt sex?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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