you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
