I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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