are you still at the devil's house?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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