Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
