they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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