Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
did i just pee glitter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
