im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
