i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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