So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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