And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
