that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
