my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
