Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
