what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
