i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
