And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize