Where is the hickey?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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