Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
