I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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