I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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