Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
