All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
