Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
