so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
