I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
